Every situation is different, and no list can account for yours. Safety planning works best with a trained advocate who can think it through with you. If any step on this page would put you in more danger, skip it.
Safety planning topics
If you are staying, for now
- Identify the rooms with more than one exit, and the rooms to avoid — kitchens and bathrooms hold weapons and hard surfaces.
- Pick a word or phrase that tells a trusted person to call for help without explaining.
- Keep your phone charged and know where the nearest working phone is.
- Teach children how to call 911, and that their job is to get safe — not to intervene.
- Think through how you would leave the house quickly, and where you would go first.
Preparing to leave
- Leaving can be the most dangerous time. If you can, plan it with an advocate.
- Open a bank account in your name only, at a different bank, with statements sent electronically or to a trusted address.
- Set aside money gradually where it will not be noticed.
- Practice the route out. Keep the car fueled and backed in if you can.
- Decide in advance who you would call, and have a second option.
Documents and an emergency bag
- Identification: driver's license, birth certificates, Social Security cards, passports, immigration documents.
- Legal: protective orders, custody or divorce papers, lease or mortgage, insurance cards.
- Financial: bank cards, checkbook, a list of account numbers, recent pay stubs.
- Practical: medications and prescriptions, spare keys, phone charger, a change of clothes, comfort items for children.
- Store copies with someone you trust, or photograph them and email them to an account only you can access.
Financial safety
- Check your credit report for accounts opened in your name.
- Change direct deposit and online banking passwords from a safe device.
- Keep some cash — cards can be tracked and frozen.
- Ask an advocate about victim compensation and emergency assistance programs.
Children
- Tell schools and childcare who is authorized for pickup, and provide a copy of any protective order.
- Practice a simple plan with children: where to go, who to call, and that it is not their job to protect you.
- Keep a list of their doctors, medications, and school records.
- Answer their questions honestly and at their age level. Children usually know more than adults expect.
Pets
- Threats to pets are a serious warning sign and a common reason people delay leaving.
- Ask an advocate about safe-haven fostering programs for animals.
- Keep vaccination records and proof of ownership with your documents.
- Where the law allows, pets can be named in a protective order.
Digital and phone safety
- Assume a shared phone plan, shared cloud account, or a gifted device can reveal your location and messages.
- Use a device the other person has never had access to when searching for help.
- Turn off location sharing in your phone settings and in individual apps, and check family-sharing and 'find my' features.
- Change passwords from a safe device, and update security questions — not just the password.
- Private or incognito browsing hides history from that device only. It does not hide activity from monitoring software, an account owner, or a network administrator.
At work
- Consider telling one trusted person at work, and giving security a photo if there is one.
- Ask whether your employer can screen calls or change your extension.
- Vary your arrival and departure times and your route.
- Park where there is light and foot traffic, and ask someone to walk out with you.
After leaving
- Change locks, and ask about a new phone number and a P.O. box.
- Give a copy of any protective order to your workplace, your children's school, and anyone who cares for your children.
- Alert neighbors you trust, and tell them when to call the police.
- Expect grief and second thoughts. They are normal, and they do not mean you were wrong.
- Keep working with an advocate. Safety planning does not end on the day you leave.
Work it through with someone
Plans are stronger when they are not made alone
Advocates at Maxine’s Arms build safety plans with survivors and revisit them as circumstances change. Nothing about that conversation obligates you to a next step.
Right now
If you need to talk to someone right now
These are statewide and national services. They are free, confidential, available 24 hours a day, and none of them is operated by Maxine’s Arms. To reach Maxine’s Arms directly, call 773-243-5464.
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Support for anyone affected by relationship abuse — including people who are unsure whether what they are experiencing counts.
800-799-SAFE (7233) Or text START to 88788 · TTY 1-800-787-3224 · thehotline.orgIllinois Domestic Violence Hotline
Illinois’ statewide 24-hour hotline. Call, text or chat with an advocate who can connect you to a program anywhere in the state.
877-863-6338 877-TO END DV · 240+ languages · the-network.orgStrongHearts Native Helpline
Culturally appropriate support for Native Americans and Alaska Natives affected by domestic, dating and sexual violence.
844-7NATIVE 844-762-8483 · strongheartshelpline.orgRAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline
For survivors of sexual assault, by phone or online chat, routed to a provider near you.
800-656-HOPE 800-656-4673 · rainn.org988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
Free, confidential support during any mental health or emotional crisis, by call or text.
988 Call or text 988 · 988lifeline.orgIf you are in immediate danger or facing a life-threatening emergency, call 911.